Friday, October 29, 2004

Rosie, the Goffins Cockatoo

I just came across a photo of a beautiful Goffins, the same species as "my" Bailey. The image is at veterinarians/vets.html

Not Subtraction, Addition without Permission

I've heard a lot of talk on the news these days, living in a "battle state" as they say. . . Ohio. . . about folks stealing political signs from the yards of their neighbors. Or maybe not their neighbors, who knows?

Today I ran into the reverse. Today, mid-morning, an older man who looked like someone's grandpa who should know better and who probably assumed no one was home, climbed up the steps to my small within-the-city-limits front yard and inserted a Lupher for Commissioner sign in my front yard. I never asked for the sign. No one else in my home asked for the sign. I have a presidential election sign in my front yard and the sign-sneaker placed his right next to it, wrongfully assuming that more is, well, okay by me. It's not.

While my property is so small as to barely be visible from the top of Mt. Pleasant, let alone an airplane, a jet, or outer space, it is my little piece of the earth (well, mine and the mortgage company's) and I get to choose what signs go on it (well, within the confines of the zoning department).

I'm ready for this election to be over. I have listened to CNN, Fox, ABC, NBC, CBS, NPR, John Stewart, Larry King, the White House spokesman, Karen Hughes, the debates, the Kerry campaign chairman, the Guardian letter-writers and today bin Laden, from whom I narrowly escaped harm on Sept. 11, 2001, had to put in his two cents. I subscribed to the Columbus Dispatch, read the local Lancaster Eagle Gazette, and get Time, Newsweek, Atlantic Monthly, Readers Digest, Good Housekeeping, and Bird Talk. Not to mention Publishers Weekly, Writers Digest, National Geographic and The Sun. I'm on information overload, or, more precisely, superficial information overload.

I don't understand the Middle East, Alan Greenspan's economic policies, how to save Social Security, or how outsourcing can be good for America. I'm tired of calling Dell and other companies and talking to someone whose speech I cannot understand regarding technical terms that I already find difficult.

But, let's hear it for our system. In our system, an informed citizen, or uninformed citizen can vote for president. That vote will, hopefully be counted. If not on Nov. 2, then ten days later when the provisional ballots are accepted. And, hopefully then, unless the electoral votes go the other way. And unless one votes absentee ballots and they are lost in the mail. If all that doesn't mess up, then the one vote counts.

My vote is actually cancelled out by my mother's vote. I feel badly about voting the opposite of my mother as I've found she usually turns out to be right about most things.

It's disconcerting to know that the MRDD folk I visit weekly in a nursing home here in Southern Ohio are casting their ballots, with no permission by their guardians needed. Folks not allowed on the elevator, folks who cannot read, are casting their vote. If Advertising Age wants to know the most effective ad in this presidential election among twenty-something males with mental challenges, I can tell them it is the one where Kerry says everyone deserves healthcare. That's the one that they point to as being the reason to vote for Kerry. But, as one resident stated, "It doesn't really matter who gets elected; I mean they don't come here and tell me what to do."

We've got some other important issues on the ballot, like controversial Issue 1. No, I'm not saying what I think about that, but like the sign-switching situation (say that nine times fast) I found it disappointing that one of the nursing home residents knew what he thought about the Issue, but couldn't read the ballot. He asked a staff person or poll worker which way to mark the ballot consistent with his beliefs. When he told me the direction he was given and upon which he acted, I realized they had directed him to do the opposite of the outcome he wanted...

Thinking of all the people in nursing homes who are not mentally competent; all the people who are considered mentally competent but probably shouldn't be; all the folks who just don't care; or folks like me who know a bit about quite a few things but don't really have a deep understanding of many things... it's really amazing our country continues on as well as it does. Politicians, for all their faults, must deserve some credit. Yep, they have to advertise. They have to hire consultants and bow to their party's wishes. But, I don't think the pay is all that great, the traveling must get old, there are family separation issues, and the career path isn't that well respected. But, I say, thank you to those willing to run for public office. It is admirable. It is commendable. I couldn't do it; wouldn't do it; so I salute you and may the best candidate win!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

A Note from Robert Kurkela

October 20, 2004:

October is writing time for me. Changes in nature and Yankee baseball tend to occupy my thoughts for the duration of October and my mind goes into overdrive. This October I find myself contemplating not only stranded base runners and colorful vistas, but also a Presidential election and the death of a friend.

For the second straight year, I attended Game 6 of the American League Championship Series at Yankee Stadium. Again, Boston and the Yankees. Again, the Yankees lost. A rivalry only people from New York and Boston can understand. We supposedly hate each other because we have passion for our teams. But the term hate is too strong. We are all just rooting for our team to win. Obscene chants erupt from both Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium directed at players and opposing fans alike. It’s a part of the fun of experiencing the drama, the theatre that unfolds in front of our eyes.

Last night the fans took it to a new level. A justifiable reversed call by the umpires led to throwing of objects including full beers from the stands onto the field. Interestingly, I did not see anything thrown from the bleachers where I was sitting, the home of the most fervent of Yankee fans. Just goes to show that you can’t judge a whole crowd by a spiteful few.

A young child was seated two rows behind me last night with her parents. I thought that had she been sitting in the stands that a full beer could have landed on her from the upper deck. What an injury that would have been. Then, the riot police invade the bleachers and the field itself as if we’re 56,000 out of control insurgents in a war zone. How sad it had to come to this. I spoke openly with Boston fans around me and we were in agreement that this was unnecessary. In addition to this overreaction, I think now about the FDNY trucks parked outside the stadium. My best friend is in the FDNY and he told me they are there in case of a terrorist attack. The firemen’s job would be to spray the people coming out of the stadium to help decontaminate them. Yankee games ain’t what they used to be.

During the game, I wore a pair of beads that my friend Simon had made for me on a past trip to the New Orleans Jazz Fest. I brought them for good luck. They didn’t bring any for my team, but I don’t care about the team as much as I do my friend Simon. You see, he died a couple of weeks ago. He was in need of a kidney transplant but couldn’t get one in time because his system wasn’t strong enough to accept one. A fund was even established and he was able to return to his native Lebanon to try to obtain a kidney, even if he had to get it on the black market. But there his system wasn’t up to the challenge.

I recall an e-mail conversation I had with Simon while he was in Lebanon and how he couldn’t wait to get back to the United States. He said that we have no idea how free we are compared to a country like Lebanon and its political system and instability. He could have stayed in Lebanon to wait for that kidney and maybe his system would have revived itself for a transfer, but he chose to come back to the home he loved, good old Albany, NY, USA. I lost a friend, but not before he had the opportunity to hold my baby daughter Rachel one last time in August. She took a bottle in his arms and then she napped. I have pictures from that day that I will cherish forever. I somehow knew that this would be the last time I’d ever see him.

In the midst of all this excitement and depression, I have also been heavily involved with on-line chats on the Presidential election. The candidates remind me of over paid baseball players. The difference is that the outcome of this election is far greater than the outcome of Game 7 tonight in Yankee Stadium. Our country is divided. I’ve posted spiteful comments and I’ve been attacked likewise on-line. Not much different than chanting: “Boston sucks.” My political dilemma seems to focus on one issue entirely: the safety of my family and my country. Who is best for America? Who will lead our country forward with courage and grace in a world forever changed by events three years ago?

Thinking of Simon, he’s right. There is no better place to live. Now we are faced with a dead heat in the election and a 3-3 series with the winner taking all tonight. I will cheer for my home team, but I know all the superstitious rituals I perform in my house will not affect the outcome of the game. There will be a final score and I’ll live with it. It’s trivial considering I’m able to watch the excitement while a friend is not here to share it with his friends.

Our country may be polarized, but we are all citizens of a democracy. We may be Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, Greens, whatever…but that is a reflection of the melting pot of our ancestors and their ideologies and the ideas passed down to us through generations. This is what makes our country so fascinating. We argue, but we are always there for our brothers and sisters in times of need, even if they don’t necessarily agree with our views on various topics. A Yankee fan started berating a Sox fan last night and I told him to let go of it, he was a great guy that flew in from Canada for the game. That to me is dedication to a team. And he wasn’t even an American! It may reflect on the dedication of the man to other causes as well.

So, as I prepare for the Yankees tonight, I will build a fire and cuddle up with my two daughters and wife. I’ll wear Simon’s beads and hope that he’s out of pain now. His life ended short, but his spirit will live on with his friends and family forever. I’ll also think of the election and how I’ll probably sit in front of my television on election night much like I will be tonight, watching history unfold in front of me. The best thing I can do to honor Simon is to simply vote. It is our greatest right as a United States citizen. I can also cheer my team on. In several weeks I’ll know who will be World Champions and who will be President of the United States.

However, in the grand scheme of things, nothing is more sacred than life itself. Simon lived his fully right up until his last day. When I find myself losing sight of what’s really important, I’ll simply return my thoughts to him and how he has made the journey that we all will take someday. Root for your team. Root for your candidate. Root for life. Live it fully yet live it wise. Live it selflessly, not selfishly. If you do, surely love will emanate from you and it will be contagious, passed on from one person to another. Do your part to leave this place better than it was before you were born unto it. This is my wish for all of you. My friend Simon accomplished this task in 38 short years. May all your lives be as blessed as his and may you come to understand your purpose on this planet.

With Love,
Robert W. Kurkela
Author of Lilies on the Moon

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Time for the Sapone al Melograno

October 18, 2004: Three years and one week. That's how long it took.

On September 10, 2001, I was in Manhattan and wandered into Takashimaya New York. I loved it! Especially the section with soaps, colognes and wonderfully scented powders. The woman who waited on me was so helpful, making such a precious event out of my less-than-$50 purchase. I bought some powder for my mother; and for me a nice large bar of "Sapone al Melograno," made from a hundreds-of-years-old formula by ... nuns in Italy! "Officina Profumo Farmaceutica."

One more reason to love New York. I can't find a bar of soap like this at Bath and Body Works.

The soap traveled in its simple white Italian wrapper, all the way across PA and back to Ohio, the sounds of NPR droning on that September 12th morning. I was supposed to have been in the WTC on 9/11, but I slept in. The next day I returned home.

I put the soap in my dresser drawer. It stayed there for two years. I moved it to the bathroom counter. It stayed there for one year. I thought I would keep it until I was an old lady and then one day open it up.

At some point in three years a parrot explored the wrapper. Indignant, I put it out of parrot's reach.

Yesterday, as I was preparing my bag to go to the Y swimming, I looked at that bar of soap and all the need for mystery, for drama, was gone. Time to use the good soap.

It smelled great. I smelled great. Life is good!

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Color, Wonderful Color

Since painting down in Nelsonville with the Ohio Plein Air Society recently, I've been enjoying a rebirth, a resurgence, a revival ... holy smokes a renewal of the joy of ... paint and color and the feel of the canvas. The splash of the brush as it swishes in the water bowl. The bits of veridian and colbalt stuck to the edge of my hand and working its way under my fingernails.

The loss of a sense of time, and the beautiful beautiful autumn colors that perhaps only someone religated to Florida's nonstop tropical light for 17 years can fully appreciate. What is the name of the colors in the tree outside my office window? It's not orange, not yellow-red, not red-yellow... it looks like a cross between a pumpkin and an electric apple. I can't capture it! Darn. Maybe next time.

Yeah for the horses that I saw yesterday galloping down a hillside and around a path-encircled pond. Yeah for the purple, maroon, orange, yellow, red. Yeah to be living in such a beautiful place. Yeah for temperatures that are falling.

I like everything about this season, even the rainy days like today. The sounds (there's a quieting down, like autumn is the "getting ready for bed" time before snow starts).

I learned that the founder of OPAS passed away recently. He left behind a present for me, someone he didn't even know. For me and many others. A great organization that lit a match under my middleaged bottom and propelled me into this wonderful time of creativity.

At night, no "must see tv" c an entice me. I've taken to painting abstract rememberances; there's my feelings about being in NY on 9/11, there's one for my son, there are colors in the wings of my parrot that I wonder if I will ever capture.

Well, I may sound a bit over the top, but I assure you my enthusiasm is genuine. Here's to finding, or refinding, wonderful pasttimes, new friends, and that gorgeous vibrant color in the tree outside my window.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

The Return of Bailey

September 11, 2004, saw the return of Bailey to my home in Lancaster. A loving three-year-old Goffin's cockatoo, Bailey had spent the first two years of her life in my home, but had moved with her primary caretaker to Maine the summer of 2003. Due to the needs of hospice patients living in the Maine hospice house, CEDARS, Bailey has returned to her first home and we are so glad to have her back!

So, on Sept. 9, my son, Bryce, and I made a nice, though long, drive to Nashua, New Hampshire for the custody transfer. On the way, we stopped in Niagara Falls; Bryce's first time there. It was gorgeous weather, and both little dogs (Tyler and Jackie) along for the ride enjoyed the park. We stayed overnight in Albany at Red Roof Inn (all hotels in this line take dogs!) and had a great scenic drive Saturday morning through Vermont. Wish I'd had time to stop and paint! After a quick, hello, bird and assorted toys/food/carriers were loaded up and off we went back to Ohio. A whirlwind trip, but I hesitate to book an airline flight for myself, let alone a sensitive bird.

I will only briefly mention the e-bay fiasco with buying her a new cage (if you are in the market for a new cage, query the african grey parrot group for recommendations and follow their advice, which I unfortunately did not do).

Bailey's best friend, Tyler the Pekingese is happy to have her home and they have resumed their trans-species relationship and the language only they can understand.

Ohio Plein Air Society

This past weekend found me in heaven! High on a hillside, overlooking rolling meadows, a sweet little pond, and a wealth of plant life in gorgeous colors: lavender, deep violet, burgundy, greens of all sort, gold, white... I was in Nelsonville,Ohio, painting with the Ohio Plein Air Society's (OPAS) 1st Annual Competition.

A month previous, I was walking around "downtown" Nelsonville... had lunch at a great little deli called Fullbrooks, and saw a couple working on a retail space, painting, etc. Asked them what was on the way and soon discovered Gallery 4, owned by Gayla Parks of Athens, OH, and a member of OPAS. She told me about the competition and once I visited their website, saw the quality of members' work, and that they would take the prodigal painter, moi, had to join. I haven't painted outdoors for about 15 years! What fun it was.

And, I was a lucky winner. On the Saturday, they had a wine and cheese party for the artists and sponsors. I picked the winning raffle ticket and came home with a larger than life-size book on Andrew Wyeth, 1968 version now out of print.

On Sunday, the 53 participants gathered in the town square on a beautiful sunny day, and with work on easels waited expectantly for the juror, David Mueller. If you have time, visit his site, and see his extraordinary work. I had a great talk with David and his wife, Lori, on Saturday night and it was inspiring to hear his story of artistic growth. Congratulations to David as he has recently added a NYC gallery to his resume and they will be showing his work in the coming year.

Finally, anyone interested in beautiful Ohio, might want to check out the work of the OPAS artists in The Land We Call Ohio painting project. Also, OPAS artists' work is online at the gallery page.

I spent Saturday and part of Sunday painting the beautiful rolling hills and pond of Fullbrooks Lodge. Check out their website for photographs and info on having a stay there.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

My Mid-Summer Night's Dream

This past Saturday night found me walking across a green hillside...a long row of trees, good friend at my side, in the midst of other footsteps. We all gathered at this wide open space, surrounded by hills, hedged against a stream, far from the main road. The pavillion, a wonderful half-shell of fabric and steel, flanked by the two largest video screens I'd seen, was soon lit from within, while musicians from all over the country, and a few beyond, donned white jackets lifted arms and instruments and the magic began!

What a great concert to start off the week-long Lancaster Music Festival. The two main female performers were stunning. The men, less so; but nevermind. Yeah! for beaded sequin spaghetti-strap dresses, beautiful arms that opened wide to circle pure voices. Let's hear it for "On the Street Where You Live," sung under Midwestern stars, a coolness in the air and stars twinkling next to a half-moon. My friend could tell me all about the real Broadway shows, the famous original cast members... but I was content with this.

The last song accompanied by fabulous fireworks...I'm running out of adjectives. You get the drift. It was great! A great time in a small town with exceptionally talented folk who graced Ohio University-Lancaster's lawn for one special night. A dreamy night to me...

Friday, July 23, 2004

ISBN-Agency Deafness

Dear ISBN:
The week of July 5th, I called and requested a form to obtain additional ISBNs. They did not come. I phone again. They did not come. I phoned again and was told they would be faxed. They were not faxed. I phoned again. They were not faxed. I e-mailed and was told to apply for ISBN numbers online. I responded by saying I want ADDITIONAL NUMBERS and online it says NOT TO fill out the online form for ADDITIONAL numbers. I called again. They said they would fax. The fax has not come. It has now been THREE WEEKS.

This morning I asked how long after applying would it be to receive the add'l ISBNs. I was told I could pay for Express processing. Yeah, right.

Let's start a new publishing world where there are no returns, no distributors, no reserves held, and no ISBN agency that charges $325.00 and takes 10 days. Shouldn't you be able to get ISBN numbers with the ease one obtains URLs? What's with that?

Contrasting History

I am no student of history — when drawn to a particular book, I'm always a bit surprised at just how interesting learning about the past can be. Last night, unable to sleep, I picked up Hidden Power: Presidential Marriages That Shaped Our History by Kati Marton. It was amazing how much I learned just in the first 50 pages. What I found most interesting, in that short section, was comparing Marton's description of Woodrow Wilson's efforts for peace during WWI with current events. (My father was named after Wilson and my son carries his name as well. So, I admit to some partiality.)

Here's what I found so interesting:

"From their Paris-bound train the Wilsons glimpsed men, women and small children solemnly saluting as the train sped by. Two million Parisians thronged the streets of the capital to hail the president. Deafening cheers of 'Vive Vil-son' and bouquets of violets rained on Woodrow and Edith's open carriage. ...

"The British repeated this ecstatic welcome. . . . In Rome, the Wilsons' reception had an almost religious ferver. Woodrow was hailed as 'the god of peace,' bells rang out and people lit candles next to his photograph in churches and in shops.

"All Wilson wanted from the conference was a 'just peace' and a world organization to maintain it.

"An ocean away, the political currents were shifting. When Wilson returned [three months later] he found a changed capital. The war was over, and the Republicans were on the attack. Senator Henry Cabot Lodge . . . declared the League of Nations unacceptable. ... The battle between Lodge and Wilson turned intensely personal, polarizing Congress and, soon, the country. ...

"'If Wilson gets his League," [Lodge said] "the Republican Party will be done for fifty years.'

"Wilson's unyielding position on the League pushed his supporters on the Hill into a corner. The choice was between democracy and imperialism, Wilson insisted.

"On March 19, 1920, the treaty meant to end the war that would end all future wars was rejected by the Senate. . .

"America retreated into isolationism. One by one, the vanquished and the victorious mocked Wilson's vision of a just peace. Without the support of the most powerful country, the League of Nations was powerless to stop Germany, Italy and Japan as they moved toward another world war."

I hope Ms. Marton will forgive me for quoting so extensively from her book, Hidden Power. Please buy it, if this subject interests you. She so expertly informs and draws the reader into various periods in our history... and for me this was very eye-opening. What will the future say about the 2001 - 2004 period of history and the American president's place in world affairs?

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Little "Pip"

Update on our new Fisher's Lovebird.
Pip (short for Pip-sqweek, yes I know it's spelled wrong) is doing great! Thank you to Heather's Feathers ( for raising such a healthy, happy creature. Pip exhibits wonderful personality traits: brave, independent, curious, friendly, and acrobatic. He has fallen in love with Gracie, our Pionus, and longs to end the 30-day quarantine and get a bit closer to her, with supervision of course.
How can one bird, who probably weighs all of an ounce or two, pack so much life under those feathers?

That Time of Year -- Hooray!

(Poster above created by Keith Sklar for "The Lancaster Festival 2004" See for info.)

It's that wonderful time of year again! Time for the Lancaster Festival. This year, I am committed to enjoying even more of this wonderful festival . . . after all, my residence is located smack downtown in the center of one of the countries best music festivals . . . and I've got time, a front porch, a summer-music sort of spirit and I'm ready to tap my feet. Highlights I'm looking forward to? Well, The ArtWalk tomorrow night (hope it doesn't rain), A Midsummer Night's Dream, A Salute to Broadway with Tony Roberts (and fireworks) and the season finale with Kathy Mattea (and more fireworks). There will also be Arnett Howard's Diva night!

Hooray for small town life with big town talent! If you are anywhere near Southeastern Ohio over the next week, stop in. You'll probably hear me humming away...out of tune but happy.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Ohio Bird Fair

Attended the Ohio Bird Fair in Columbus today and it was nice to see a wide selection of birds, most seemed to be healthy, with knowledgable breeders (some more than others). It would be interesting to see how much information they give about respective birds (do you really want that Umbrella Cockatoo Mildred?) when the cash is flashed.

There was a really nice couple there from Indiana. Their birds looked fabulous, clean and I wasn't surprised to learn, with documentation, that all had been vet-checked the previous day and given the A-Okay. Anyway, I bought a sweet little Fisher's lovebird. (This photo link is not my bird, but a twin.) I couldn't resist as I've been drawn to lovebirds for a few years now, have been reading up on them, and the price was right. Little Ruby is beautiful and will be a nice addition to our little family.

She already has her own curtain rod in the kitchen window and will hopefully spend many happy minutes there. She's already claimed the back of the office chair as her domain, so, like a little good-luck charm, she sits there in glorious green, orange and red splendor.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

"Bibliophile's Wonderland"

Bill Eichenberger, of the Columbus Dispatch, wrote an interesting article which appeared last Sunday. Collector's handmade volumes combine art, literature. The article featured Columbus area resident Marcia Preston and showed several b/w photos of the beautiful handmade books from her collection. I've not seen many handmade books, but the subject is becoming more appealing to me . . . in fact, it's becoming so directly proportional to the speed at which I'm producing books (print on demand and all that) for clients, though most folks do prefer excellence over fast.
Ms. Preston's home is described as a "Bibliophile's Wonderland"! Oh, that sounds heavenly. Eichenberger goes on to quote the head of rare books and manuscripts for Ohio State University libraries' Geoffrey Smith (there's a neat job) as attributing Ms. Preston's good collection to her "good taste."
Well, you can read the article for yourself, but I was so excited when I did a search online for the work of an artist recently shown at the Columbus Museum of Art, Nancy Rexworth. (The link is to another gallery, but shows examples of her work.) Well, when I did the search I found out that there is a book of her Diana-camera photos. Now, I know it's not the same thing; it's a rare book, a LE, but not an art book in the sense that Ms. Preston collects... but it was just one more beautiful button in the sweater that creates the sort of bookshelf Mr. Eichenberger quotes Cyril Connolly as preferring -- "a mass of guady variety." (How's that for using poor analogy for tying a whole line of thought together.)
To sum up: On a rainy Saturday; with good coffee, a bowl of fresh raspberries, and a sweet-smelling parrot on my shoulder . . . searching around for beautiful books is a nice respite from listening to the news.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Concert 7-14-04

Last night we went to see Barenaked Ladies in concert at Polaris. Nellie McKay did a few songs before, as well. I first heard her on NPR and ordered her CD the same day; that's how much I loved her unique voice.

I knew nothing about the Barenaked Ladies, that's how much of a cave I live in, but was so pleasantly surprised. The were fantastic. I had heard them on the radio, and not thought much about them. They sounded much better in concert, which might seem obvious, but not when you consider what I'm about to write in the next paragraph.

Oh yes, Alanis Morrisette was there, too. Sang mostly all songs that I heard in 1995. I'm determined to find the two notes on my piano that she focused on most of the night... It was nice of Barenaked Ladies to invite her along on their tour. gulp. ...

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Advice from '73

(Here I am in what I thought was a rather cute plaid cap, with braids, in front of a barn. No paints in sight, but I promise you, I did paint.)
One of the most unusual snippets of advice I've received came from a painting instructor, William Gerhold of Davis, West Virginia. Mr. Gerhold (and I call him "Mr" because at the time I was 17 and he was probably mid-forties) was a watercolorist living and working in West Virginia. I found his name in an issue of American Artist magazine, the only and first magazine that I subscribed to while in high school.

Every spring, early in the spring, the magazine would run various ads on painting workshops and getaways being held in the upcoming summer. Mr. Gerhold's sounded wonderful! His workshop was held in Cannan Valley State Park. I showed the ad to my parents, and they gave their consent (and $).

Paper, paints, and various supplies were purchased. Including a heavy wooden drawing board. I also had a smaller, lighter board that my dad must have made for me. I made a strap for it out of macrame. A popular activity for girls in 1973.

The camp was two weeks long. I'd never been away from home that long. My mother, I learned years later, struggled a bit with letting me go.

Well, to speed this story up, one day Dad and I piled into the family car and started on a seven-hour journey. This in itself was remarkable.

I wasn't what one would call "close" to my father. He scared me a bit, because I didn't understand him. I longed, at times, for him to be smiley, handsome, strong and happy. He was not though, not in the way I expected he should be. But, here he was, supporting the "girls-can-do-anything-boys-can-do" mentality. We eventually arrived in WV; I don't know anything about Dad's trip home.

There followed two weeks of living in a cabin with five others, one of two cabins. Painting every day. Critiques at night. An 18-year-old girl and I were the youngest attendees, by far.

Mr. Gerhold had a Jeep. He was the only person I'd known with a Jeep. All his painting things were in the back, he'd open the back and set up to paint. I think I've judged all vehicles owned as an adult against what I thought was the practicality of Mr. Gerhold's Jeep. Anyway, he drove us miles down a dirt road to an abandoned farm. Years later, the horrible wasp sting I received in the middle of nowhere (I'm allergic) has pretty much faded and I remember the sounds and smell and feel of that place.

I'm sure you're wondering about that helpful advice from Mr. Gerhold. The watercolor paper (D'Arches of course) was expensive -- just like now. It was intimidating looking at a big sheet of it; all white and perfect. The teachers advice was to deliberately dirty it up -- step on it, throw dirt on it -- splash paint on it. Get past the fear of screwing up -- then you can move on to create free of anxiety.

I have not thought of that advice for 31 years! But woke up yesterday morning thinking of it...

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Summer Breeze.....

Some days are bumpier than others; yesterday was a bumpy day ... a Monday sort of Wednesday; minor annoyances punctuated by true concerns such as learning a friend is ill. But how fortunate some of us are here in Central Ohio, that at the end of a bumpy day we can relax in a comfortable house, with a full stomach, a phone to call friends and family, the knowledge of a job the next day, the peace of children in good health. A dog, or two, to pet. Enough possessions to wonder where to put things. Enough of a yard to wonder when to weed things. Enough food to wonder when to cut back. In other words, a truly blessed life; a good life. A life for which to give thanks.

This morning, I opened the back door and I didn't notice the deck needing painting, the garden needing weeding, the neighbors' noisy windchimes, garage band, and young-teenage son who makes screeching noises from his front porch most mid-afternoons. I notice the most wonderful, cool, refreshing breeze. All windows thrown open, ceiling fans whirring, fresh air to breath. A nice cup of coffee. A new day. I am thankful for it all.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Little Brown Redemption

About a week ago I was driving along at a good clip on Rt. 22 between Lancaster and Washington Court House; the usual trip to visit my son. The sky was blue, the temperature gorgeous, the two dogs loving the ride . . . Car Talk was on NPR. It was great.

Ahead, a few birds gathered in the right lane, hovering over an unfortunate mammal. There was no time to swerve, and I'm not a swerver anyway. Not in a Chevy Venture Van. One small bird valiantly beat his wings to gain altitude, but his little body smacked into the front of my car faster than you can say "Click and Clack." If there's a word between "mortified" and "crestfallen" -- that's how I felt.

Yesterday was my chance for redemption.

My home is a two-story, 100-year-old house with a few really tall, towering trees right outside the windows. I thought, perhaps, a nest was nearby when at about 9 a.m. I went upstairs and heard loud cheeping coming from the direction of the bathroom. Keep in mind the upstairs bedroom a/c was on, all bedroom doors were closed, and a long narrow hallway leads to the bathroom.

With Gracie, my parrot, in hand, we approached the noise to investigate. As soon as we reached the bathroom . . . nothing. I looked at the floor, the sink, the top of the cabinet, the top of the counter in front of the window. Nothing. I opened the wooden shutters and looked at the tree outside the window. Nothing.

About noon, the above scenario repeated itself. "That is one loud birdie," I thought.

In the afternoon, Tyler (my Pekingese) and I went to the vet to discover that what he truly needed was 25 mg of Benadryl, which I had suspected all along. Not knowing the proper dose as I haven't had time to obtain my veterinary license, I hesitated to guesstimate. Anyway, he needed his nails done, a look-see by the vet and we got to meet a nice bulldog who had been rescued the day earlier. This poor dog, Darth Vadar, had claws so long that one had grown into its foot. Tyler was counting his blessings.

Anyway, upon returning home I went upstairs to freshen up and there it was again. I sneaked every so carefully to the bathroom and there on the bath mat was a little baby sparrow! All brown and downy and covered still with some nest-gunk. Oh boy!

How did that happen? The window has been closed for five days. Prior to that, it was opened with a screen in place. There is no access to the attic from the bathroom. There are no other rooms/doors near the bathroom and the bird cannot fly nor walk. There are no nests outside the window and there have been no big gusts of wind lately. There have been no eggs lying on my bathroom floor, ready to hatch.

Fast forward: I put him in a little cage . . . read up on the Internet (don't ask about the photo of people eating sparrows, whole, in some foreign country...I am providing NO link to that!). . . called Wild Birds Unlimited in Columbus, and was referred to the Ohio Wildlife Center . . . fed him fine canned dog food (birdie baby food does not have enough protein, I learned) with a syringe . . . tried not to bond with him . . . and made plans to take him to Dublin in the morning. I fed him about six times and he seemed to be doing well. Having had baby parakeets and a baby Goffin's cockatoo, I knew how to syringe feed a baby bird.

Alas, this morning when I approached the cage, no little cheep to greet me. The sweet creature was dead . . . his little feet pointing heavenward.

How can this be? I'd done the best I could. I'd tried really hard and he'd been doing so well the night before. He was my chance to make up for every little animal I'd never been able to save . . . the squirrel I ran over when my kids were little. I was too tired and harried to turn around and see if I could help him, and my son has never forgotten my behavior that day. The little bird on the side of our house a month ago who fell out of a nest and was near where the neighbor's cat hangs out. I tried to catch him to put him in a safer place, but he ran under the house, probably right into the cat's mouth. The children listed online who need homes! The dogs and cats and birds and small furry things at Petfinder! The old people! The Hospice Patients! Somehow, by keeping one little bird alive and transporting it to specialists at the Wildlife Rescue Center, I was going to prove that I had tuned into my inner Pocohontas and cast off the difference between other species and me. I would be the sparrow whisperer! It's all about me, isn't it?

Well, no, of course it's not. There's a bigger picture here and I have trouble seeing it. Birds live, but some don't. People live, but some don't. Everything dies and as an artist and editor, I don't have much power to save a life.

I want to though. I want to save those girls being raped in Sudan, the people in Rwanda, the estimated 1.5 million Iraqi orphans, the Afghanistan teenage girls, the people exported as slaves. How can I do anything when I can't even save a little sparrow? It seems like a tall order, and yet once again I find myself getting in the way of the bigger picture.

Perhaps the really impressive thing about people who do save lives, the Mother Theresas of the world, is not that they do it, but that they have figured out how to get themselves out of the way. Celia Taylor reports: "Mother Theresa once said, "We can do no great things; just small things with great love."

Perhaps that's the lesson for me here... But the mystery remains... How did that sparrow end up on my bath mat?

Friday, July 02, 2004

4th of July

Happy Fourth of July! We're spending today with all manner of zoo creatures at the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium. Haven't been there for many many many years and am really looking forward to it. Especially the African Grey Parrots in the African Forest and the Tropical Aviary and Lorikeets in the Australian section. If only the Pionus were featured somewhere in the zoo (perhaps they are!), it would be perfect.

Going to be 87 today in Columbus... But I'll try not to notice.

Tomorrow, will celebrate living in the best country in the world (well, one of the best... I think Canada is pretty swell and the UK is right up there as well and France and Italy sound nice...)... well, as Bridget Jones would say, "one of the top thirty..." It's been the best for me, and looking at the other possible places fate could have landed me a life in, I will be forever thankful.

So, tomorrow, in this small Ohio town, there will be a parade down Main Street and fireworks set off of the cliffs of standing stone... The smell of lighter fluid will permeate our neighborhood; dogs will bark; kids will be riding their bikes with red-white-and-blue streamers woven through the spokes of small tires. I'll be wearing red earrings and drinking coca cola.

Have a great holiday weekend!

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Remembering Lisa Steinberg

I remember Lisa Steinberg, and so do many people. 1987 wasn't that long ago. My children were 6 and 4 years old when this NYC lawyer's abuse of his 6-year-old adopted daughter resulted in her death, propelling child abuse to the forefront of media attention. Who can forget the battered face of Steinberg's wife (a book editor)?

Now, after serving 16 years, he is being released. So, that's what the life of a child is worth now? Oh, you say things are better now; sentences are harsher for child killers? No, they aren't. Last week in Central Ohio, this article appeared:
Saturday, June 19, 2004
THE COLUMBUS DISPATCHA nurse's assistant who pleaded guilty yesterday to helping kill her adopted son wrote in her diary that she and her husband discussed getting rid of their two adopted children "like dogs in a pound.''

Amy Thompson wrote in her computer journal that just seeing the 2-year-old Russian boy and her 3-year-old adopted daughter, also from Russia, sickened her.

After locking her son alone in the basement for five days, barricading the door with furniture and boxes while his burned and injured body made its way toward death, this "mother" was sentenced to -- what do you think? Death? Life in prison? NO, 15 years! I'm not sure of her age, but I believe she's approximately 30. That means that she will be out of prison in her mid-forties and will likely live another 30 - 40 years free before the average age of women at death.

If she had killed a famous celebrity, a politician, a police officer, the sentence would have been different. Why does our society value the life of a child as being less than that of adults? What kind of a person can know their child is dying in their basement and do nothing to help? How did these people get the money and the access to adopting two children? I just do not understand.

Lisa Steinberg would have been 22 years old now, had she been adopted into a family who loved and cared for her. Lisa, we remember you.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Obituaries #3 and Dangerous Potatoes

O'Rea O. Block died Friday at age 106. She was the ninth of 15 children.

Amy Sue (Uber) Brackbill, age 36, passed away on Saturday. She will be missed by her husband and five children. FairHoPe Hospice is thanked.

Dorothy M. Phelps died at 90 yesterday. She is not a relative that I know of. Every week when I drive from Lancaster to Washington Court House (OH) I pass a rather decrepit-looking farmhouse on Rt. 22. An old, crooked sign is out front noting the "Wardell Party Home." I've always thought that was pretty comical. The yard had a lot of "stuff" in it and I couldn't imagine what kind of parties were held there or the history behind the sign. I wondered about it. Well, it seems Ms. Phelps not only had "a great concern for homeless animals" but she was the "operator of the Wardell Party Home for many years."

Robert E. Grimes, age 32 died Friday. William Scheckermann, age 24, died Thursday "at home." He attended Franlin University. Amy Grimm Hagen, age 45, died Saturday. She was a geologist. Nathan Michael Kleeh, age 13 months, died Saturday of cancer. "Baby Trumayne Armon Smith . . . went home with the angels Wednesday."

A potato-gun explosion killed 1 and injured 3 others in Ohio on Saturday night. Klyle R. Thompson, age 21, died at the scene. "Excessive gunpowder and possibly a stuck potato made the pipe explode" perhaps driving pieces of metal into his torso. With him at the time was his brother-in-law (31) who was "hosting the potato shooting" another man age 22, and Robert Kiser, age 48, who was injured. I don't know any 48-year-old men who spend Sat. night launching potatoes from pipes. I have a feeling this sort of thing will give Midwesterners a bad reputation.

The County Coroner said "he had never heard of a potato shooting before." Have you?

Conventional Blogging

The AP reports that "The Democrats are holding true to their 'party of inclusion' billing" and offering convention access to "a handful of bloggers."

"The Republicans say they've yet to decide what to do about them. . . . some analysts think the party is wary of bloggers, who tend to be less predictable than mainstream journalists."

"Frivolous Guests"

In today's Columbus Dispatch,Tim Feran, TV-radio critic notes the media blitz enjoyed this week by Bill Clinton. He has been on 60 Minutes (Dan Rather's discussion on Larry King about the Clinton interview was more interesting than the actual interview), Oprah Winfrey, Today (saw it), GMA, Larry King Live (saw it), Charlie Rose and Fresh Air with Terry Gross. I see he is going to be on NPR's Tavis Smiley this evening (like that show!).

Apparently, though, he is not going to be on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Feran says Stewart's show is booked with "frivolous guests such as Sen. John McCain and Ralph Nader." I don't consider McCain a frivolous guest and what Nader lacks in widespread appeal he makes up for in earnest tenancity, an good quality regardless of what one thinks of his being in the race.

I've seen Clinton on several programs and his book is being sold in the local grocery at 40% off and I sense the marketplace is getting enough. But, I think it might have been the one interview really worth watching.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

"My Experimental Phase"

Saturday, as I was driving along Rt. 22, enjoying the sight of freshly-cut fields of hay and rapidly-growing cornstocks, I listened to WCBE - NPR's "This American Life." The program this week was on "My Experimental Phase." It will be available via RealAudio online next week.

Anyway, the segment that caught my interest was on "The Life of an Underground Hasidic Gam Rock Star." Yikes! In this segment, Washington Post music critic David Segal talks with Billy, aka Vic Thrill and "Chaim" (last name kept secret) about Hym's brief foray into rock music as singer "Curly Oxide."

It was fascinating to hear how Billy is the kind of person who greets and knows his neighbors by name; all the neighbors, that is, except those in the closeknit Hasidic community. He's aware of this, so when neighbor Chaim ventures to a bar and for the first time encounters Vic Thrill's music they eventually become friends and a great "Experimental Phase" results.

Segal has Chaim describe how he learned about English and television and how coming to those cultural components "fresh" as it were, laid the groundwork for intriguing lyrics. Billy recalls Chaim's prolific lyric-writing, irritatingly left on Billy's answering machine, because that was the only way Chaim knew to get it down. When faced with the option of sending the irrepresible Chaim (who was spending 6 hours a day at Billy's watching TV) away, Billy agreed to give collaboration a try and the result was Curly Oxide, glam rock star. The snippet of the song "Welcome to the Millenium" sounded great.

Chaim's experimental phase came to an end. He left it up to God as to which would come first, a record contract or an arranged marriage. His mother found him a wife, he was married shortly thereafter and now lives the Hasidic life with his wife and two children. The only place you could hear his performance, Segal reports, was on a jukebox (was it at Joe's Pub in the East Village?) that no longer exists. Thanks NPR and Segal for an interesting show as I drove through the Ohio farmland and was transported to another place, another culture, another phase.

Al Hirschfeld at the NYT

Last night I visited a great little gallery in New York without ever leaving my Ohio home. The New York Times is running a multi-media article on Al Hirschfeld, and just to show you how not-young I am, I still get excited to see video on my computer monitor. My favorite points in this show were a photo of Hirschfeld in his studio, reviewing in detail his wonderful use of line, learning he had tea brought in at 4 pm everyday (when I am famous and 99 years old, I will have that too) and seeing just how wonderfully he captured the essence of some of the 20th century's top performers. I liked it so much, I ordered a book . . . and THIS is why books will not be made extinct by the Internet. The Internet is like the hook. The book is the prize!

Parrot Aroma Reserach

Last week, I received an e-mail from an organization doing research on Parrot Aroma. I didn't realize until now how difficult it is to describe scent. Maximilian Pionus are known for their unique smell and now I was challenged to convey it with mere words!

Here's what I wrote:

"Maximilian Pionus: a wonderful smell. Like old roses and wood, not heavy, light, if wood was sweet and rubbed with rose oil and then warmed and set next to a lilac bush, that would be the closest I could think of!"

(Note: Painting is copyrighted. Click here for more information.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Soap, Mr. Cheney?

The Associated Press reported today that V. P. Dick Cheney "used an obscenity beginning with 'F' in an exchange [with Sen. Leahy] on the Senate floor where members had gathered for a group photo." Yuck.

I don't think I'm the only forty-something person who grew up in a household where swearing was nonexistent. I don't think I ever heard my father swear. I'm sure he must have, but I never heard it. By the time I ever heard the word "damn" come out of my wonderful mother's mouth (I think she'd stubbed her toe or something), I was already an adult myself. Though completely human nature when a person is suddenly afflicted with pain, her utterance shocked me.

I remember the first time as a teenager that I said the word "shit." It didn't feel as cool as I thought it would and I hardly ever use it even now. Last year I was struggling with a box that had been taped together by someone who must have worked for the military. There was no getting into it, and I didn't have a boxcutter handy. Tired and frustrated, I said the "F" word. Under my breath, but all the same it was immediately heard by my hearing impaired son whose face registered the expected my-mother-the-pedestal-what-happened? look. Later, I apologized to him for what I felt was a lack of self-control on my part. I didn't offer excuses. I said it was wrong and I felt badly about it. He said, "I never heard you say that before."

I'm not really a goody-two-shoes ... I just have always believed that swearing was the inclination of folks too lazy or stupid to really come up with just the right zinger to get their point across. Let's hear it for the person who can cut to the quick and shock with their insight rather than using words that can be taught to a parakeet.

I'm not against all use of foul language; after all I did go to art school, am a Democrat, and read quite a lot. Today, for instance, on "This American Life" on wosu FM, a girl was reading from her diary, written when she was 13. The "F" word was frequently uttered (though beeped out) and it was entirely appropriate and hilarious in the context.

I may be one of the few middle-aged women who took their son to see the movie 8-Mile and thought it was worthwhile and well-done. I don't have a problem with saucy language, per se, and if I did, well who gives a...

The thing is, I don't want the Vice Pres., be he (or she) Democrat or Republican bandying about obscentities like playground bullies. This is someone one successful assassination attempt from becoming president, with access to "the big red button." Shouldn't he have a bit more self control in the anger area? Doesn't a Vice President have some other way of making life difficult for his enemies?

A long time ago I had to deal with an individual prone to angry outbursts. To defuse the situation I did two things: imagined him a tiny cartoon baby in underpants and realized that the louder he yelled, the closer I might have been getting to the truth.

Sen. Leahy might find that technique helpful in his next photo op.

Obits Part Deux - Sat. June 26, Cols. Dispatch

Leonard Alexander, 35, died this past week. He was a senior network administrator with Net Jets. Darrick Angle, age 27, died on the same day, Wed., "riding the bike that he loved." "...many internet friends who know him as derklee" will miss him.

Elmer J. Carpenter, age 86, also died. He was preceded in death by 6 brothers and 4 sisters. He leaves behind one brother and two sisters. That was a big family.

Vicki Mentel also died this week. She worked for 21 years "in surgery offering compassion and care to her patients. ... She enjoyed Irish culture and was known for her knowledge of all things Irish." I have always wanted to go to Ireland...I wonder if she ever traveled there.

Ralston Steele, age 41, died in a nursing home. He is survived by his wife, three children and mother. His children's names are Tijuha, Talia, and Jacque. Neat names.

Thirty folks are listed in today's obituaries. Three "passed away peacefully."

"Loving father and grandpa" Danny Wayne Howard, age 53, passed away at home on Wednesday. Viet Nam Vet Robert Leroy Rhyan, age 57, also died on Wed.

Thomas Bernard Englehart died on Thursday. He was "preceded in death by his wife of 71 years." (That's seven-one. No typo.)

Donna L. Darst died on Thursday. She was retired from the State of Ohio Columbus Developmental Center. Developmental Centers care for the mentally and physically disabled; two of them are closing due to budget cuts. (This was not mentioned, however, in Ms. Dart's obituary, but it is important in the lives of many disabled here in Ohio. As they are moved from the only homes with which they are familiar.)

Finally, consider the life of Ronald Mauller, age 69, who was in the Columbus Public School System for 30 years. He was a Veteran of Foreign Wars and was preceded in death by his son Bradley. (I am preceded in death by my brother, Bradley.) I find it sad that at 69 Mr. Mauller was also preceded in death by two of his sons-in-law. His wife and two daughters are still living.

This month marks the fourteenth anniversary of my father's death. I hope the families of the people who died this week feel the ongoing presence of their loved one every day. And find strength in the family surrounding them.

Pets and Language

The media is all abuzz about new science findings regarding dogs who "are much smarter than scientists have thought." Thousands of dollars of research might have been saved, had they spent anytime at my home, or observing the lives of many of my friends who also have dogs. In the past thirteen years, I have been guardian to five dogs, three of whom died during the Dec 03 to Dec 04 period and two new pups now with me. Here's what I could have told scientists:

1) Dogs know when you are happy, sad, busy, angry, worried, ill, and in love.
2) They know when you mean it, don't mean it, aren't sure if you mean it, and are consulting dog behavior books to find out if you should mean it.
3) Dogs know that exercise is good for you.
4) Dogs know that high-protein diets make them happier.
5) They can find their way around the neighborhood and communicate with the neighbors.
6) They understand that mail comes six days a week and sometimes what's in the mail is worth yelling about it.
7) Dogs realize that fashion isn't important.
8) Dogs are comfortable with all their body parts and the body parts of those they love.
9) Dogs are not afraid of other dogs bigger than themselves. In fact, the smaller the dog, I've found, the more emphatic they are to express their bravery.
10) Dogs can tell who is naughty and who is nice.

I don't think the problem is that they can't talk with us. Think about it, there are a gadzillion species of animals. Anyone with pet birds has learned the importance of body language and how tuned in a parrot can be just to the way you hold your shoulders. My hearing-impaired son has always had a sixth sense about the expressions, moods and body carriage of those around him. So, back to animals, if there are way more species of animals than the one species of humans, maybe we should be learning more about their language instead of studying whether or not they know ours.

I have to go dog is outside barking at the neighbor's garage sale visitors. He knows these are people who do not belong on our street, and he wants them to know this house is well-protected. Or, perhaps he has his eye on some of the merchandise.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Reading the Obituaries

I have now officially reached middle age: I read the obituaries of people I do not know. Perhaps there is a name for this condition... I find it helps me be thankful -- thankful my name's not there. And humble -- a lot of people who sound like really great folks I would like to have known, die. The following listings were just a small part of the notices on June 23rd in the Columbus Dispatch...

Jessie Elizabeth Rowlands, only 66 years old... Beautiful blonde hair and sunny smile, her photo shows. She attended Columbus College of Art and design. She was an amateur artist who sold floral paintings to boutiques in LA. She did koi paintings and was a "wonderful mother. Her humanity, energy, and wit will be sorely missed." I don't know her, but I feel sad.

Jesika Renee Smith, age 18, "landed in the arms of the angels" recently. We are told nothing about her. James David "JD" Mansfield, just two years older than my eldest son, died suddenly ... "as a result of an accident at home." He "loved sports, hunting and fishing, but most of all his 2-year-old daughter." It sounds like he had a big family and I imagine every holiday and hunting trip and fishing expedition... every time that family gets together, he will be very missed.

Steve R. O'Donnell, age 69, also "passed away suddenly as a result of an accident." He founded Goal Systems Computer Software Co.

Fred Rubeck lived at Walnut Grove Campground. He died last Monday due to an accident there.

I'm going to be much more careful around the house.

Lester Bosco Roberts died at age 97 after "a short illness." "Lester was a part of a research team that studied the extreme longevity of residents in the country Hunza in the 1950's." I didn't know about that. "He conducted research in areas as diverse as why rocking calms babies and keeping sterile environments in space travel." He had no children and lived on his own until six weeks before his death. It seems to me that Mr. Roberts knew a thing or two and I would have loved to have known him.

John A. Webb, age 31, died also. He is survived by his wife and his former wife and his children: Trinity, Katrina, John Jr., Jacob, Kassandra, Kara, Chad, Little John and Katie King. I really hope Mr. Webb carried sufficient life insurance. Nine children will miss him.

Cahi Lee Wong died at age 89. She was associated with the Tai Wan Restaurant in Columbus and along with the many surviving family members, her obituary lists "great-grand dogs, Bella, Romeo, Sidney and Shadow." I hope when my time comes, my family lists my pets in the obituary.

This ten minutes spent each day reading about the ending of strangers' lives might seem a little odd to some. But I think it gives me a good perspective. Life is short, temporary, unpredictable and death happens to everyone in ways and at times that don't make sense. It's a good thing to keep in mind when faced with the ups and downs of life here in Middle America.

Update on SBC

Well, perhaps all my problems with SBC were due to the strike situation. At least, the last three people I've talked with this week about various issues have been pleasant and helpful. Perhaps my SBC nightmare was just a branch of their nightmare. But, the automated phone services companies use... ugh! Does anyone have anything good to say about them?

Thursday, June 24, 2004

This Shopper is No Mystery

In my list of "interesting occupations I might like to do for a month or so, independent of how much they pay" I've got "Mystery Shopper." I will likely never be a Mystery Shopper, but I may be able to be the next best thing: a person who puts their complaints on the Internet for the entire world to read. Well, providing that they find my discourse.

Today, is the day my consumer-fury will rain down on the corporations that often for reasons that have nothing to do with personal choice, have wormed their way into my everyday life. Here is a synopsis (because I do care about your mental health and wouldn't wish the full, word-by-word account on anyone) of a recent "problem resolution." I will put these under the proper corporation heading, so you can scroll down to your personal favorite.

SBC Ameritech: Despite the fancy-dancy television commercials that constantly interrupt some of my favorite TV shows, this company almost (I've got to build some suspense) tops the list of "Corporations that Drive Me Crazy."

1) A few months ago, I call SBC Ameritech to remove "unlimited residential service" from a spare phone line used only occassionally to send faxes. This smart move is aimed at saving me less than ten dollars a month. The lady is nice and says she will set it all up. At the same time I order "unlimited long distance" for $30 a month on my phone line.

2) I receive a phone bill and the service was not reduced on my fax line. I also find that the "unlimited long distance" on my lines does not include faxes to England, which I previously received with my long distance carrier, ZoneLD, for about 6 cents a minute. I decide SBC's unlimited long distance is not a good idea for me, and choose to return to ZoneLD. I think this will be easy. I am an optimist.

3) I call SBC and reach a person who cannot understand anything to do with my order, cannot pull up the info on the computer screen, sounds like she's 10 years old, has a supervisor standing by that isn't helping, and finally puts me on hold for 15 minutes while she searches for a fax number, which I have requested in a desperate attempt to just submit my complaint in writing. I hang up and call another SBC customer service number. The same thing happens. Later that day, I learn that SBC workers are on strike and "this may affect customer service." I take a nice drive in the countryside and thank God I don't work for SBC.

4) A few days later, I call back. Everything in #3 is repeated. WHILE ON HOLD, I go online and submit the request there using their customer service form. I hope for the best.

5)I call SBC, again, to make sure they received my form. I review everything in #1, #2, and #3. Keep in mind that getting to the part where "I review everything..." requires entering into the key pad my phone number, ZIP code, and then verifying my address and declining participating in their stupid customer service survey. I repeat all this same information to the person who answers the phone. I am re-routed to another department, and, to a young man who takes my information and promises to call me back. He calls back and gets my voice mail. I call him back and get his voice mail. He calls me back and gets my voice mail. I call back and talk to someone else. Finally, it seems my fax line service is changed as I like and I am saving about $9 a month.

6) My unlimited long distance service is also removed. They will not, however, refund the one month of "unlimited residential service" on my fax line that I had asked a month earlier to be removed. They have no record of my removing it. They tell me I should have kept the e-mail. I point out to them that I didn't send an e-mail, I filled out their customer service form on their Website, and didn't have a copy of it. I asked them why they have that form there, if you can't submit information there pertaining to your account. They seem not to understand what is on their website.

7) I receive a letter from SBC verifying the reduction in charges for my fax line, yet there is a new charge for "Individual Message Residence: $2.21". I have no idea what this is. I call in, they explain it to me. Don't ask me what it is as I do not remember.

8) I sign up online to renew my long distance services with ZoneLD, but am unable to add in my fax line: "there is a problem with the line." I send two e-mails. I decide to call. Their phone number, as shown online ends with "ZoneLD." I look at my phone, there is no "Z" showing on the keypad. I am debating if the "9/WXY" would be the one to press or the "0." I decide to send an e-mail.

9) I receive an e-mail from ZoneLD confirming my e-mail to them. I receive no further e-mails resolving the problem. My fax will not dial long distance.

10) I call SBC Ameritech and they explain that as they have removed themselves as my LD carrier, there is no LD provider, but for $3 a month they will put their name back on as my LD provider. I decline.

11) I go to ZoneLD's site again, and this time am holding the cordless handset of a different phone in the house. Eureka! It has "Z" on the keypad, next to the "9/WXY". I now know what number to call. I call the number and get voice mail. But, hooray, they actually call me back and promise to resolve the problem and get my fax line signed up, but it will take a few days.

12) In the meantime, when I want to make faxes, I switch the phone cord between my voice phone and my fax line. Keeping up?

13) This morning, I received a call from SBC asking me if I would like to purchase their long distance plan for $30 a month. I said no.

ZoneLD: This is a nice company, their LD service is $0.039 per minute, and they seem to be easy to deal with...I have no complaints about them.

Sprint PCS: Oh my God! Where to start... They are my number one least favorite company. I haven't had to talk with them for ten months, but I am not yet over the trauma of dealing with this company. Let's just say, Nothing is free or clear. When my plan expires in September I am running from them like a bad case of shingles. Every person on earth I talk to has had the same negative experience. Again, their innovative marketing campaign has nothing to do with the reality of dealing with their customer service, which almost caused me to throw my cell phone out the window, or perhaps to my small dog to use as a chew toy. I've always felt it's not healthy to have hatred toward another person, but might I make an exception for a corporate identity?

infoseek: Beware the company that operates with automatic renewals. When a charge for $146 appeared on my bank statement, I discovered my marketing plan had automatically renewed, though I never sign up for that service and was not forewarned. I e-mailed the company, and a nice guy e-mailed me back, sent a fax and agreed to refund the entire amount. I submitted the proper paperwork. Nothing happened. I sent nice guy an e-mail, then another. Then another fax. And, hooray, days later, a refund. Since infoseek refunded my money with less than 10 e-mails, with no phone calls and in a matter of two weeks time, they are on my "okay to do business with" list.

Interview Magazine For some reason this magazine comes to my house every month. I don't read it. I don't have time. I look on it to see when the subscription expires. January 2005. I think "Ah ha! Someone has automatically renewed something and I'm going to catch them at it!" I call the magazine. They have nothing to do with the subscription, it is handled by another company. I call them. They tell me, yes, it's true, the subscription was renewed last December. "How much was charged to me for that?" I ask, ready to do battle.

"Well, it was free, there was no charge. A special promotion..."
"And there will be no automatic renewal?"
"No automatic renewal."

Ah well, I live to mystery shop another day....

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Spice, Life and All that Jazz

Ah, what a full day. The jazzy sounds of the local NPR station are a soothing ending to a day filled with variety. A day that started with finishing up a book on fishing, postponing a book on Afghanistan, and completing an earnest book by a ninety-year-old ex-foreign service person who now writes books to encourage peace. All this interspersed with talks with a client who has created the greatest childrens book, which is now in a prototype using a cool program called Flip Publisher.

We had a nice summer thunderstorm . . . the rain threw itself against the big evergreen sideways, while my Chihauhua sat on a cushion on the desk, a parrot perched near her on the stem of my clip-on bendable desk light, and Tyler, the Pekingese, stretched out on the floor dreaming of who knows what. Within half an hour the sun was shining again as if it had never left. And it hadn't . . . it was simply hard to see.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night..."

What a great song.

"You were always waiting for this moment to arrive..."

Hmmm... What moments in our life are we waiting to arrive? Looking back, it wasn't really the big moments at all. Not the weddings, graduations, or births.

The moments were the feel of fresh air on my cheek as I rode my bike next to my eldest son, when he was only a small boy. Relaxing on the couch with my youngest son as we laughed at "Everybody Loves Raymond" and watched our dear old dog, Buster (who died last year -- he's the one in the photo with me), snore and move his paws in a dreamy prance.

Moments like sitting on the front porch with my mother as she comments on how beautiful the flowering shrubs are around my house, just like the ones around her grandmother's house. Moments like handing out candy to trick or treaters my first year in Lancaster. Families filled the streets, we had to make an emergency run to the grocery, and I felt like I'd moved to the most wonderful town in America. Nice neighbors even gave out treats to Buster!

Moments like sneaking a little Chihauhua in my handbag into the nursing home where my eldest son lives to surprise him at Christmas. A dozen moments sharing experiences with a sister closer than any best friend could be.

The second it took for my youngest son, visiting from Philadelphia this past Mother's Day, dropping a beautiful pair of silver earrings into my hand and wishing me a happy birthday. The moment it takes to hear "I love you."

Life: a collage of memorable moments -- images, scents, sounds, feelings. On a busy day like today, filled with "bus-i-ness" that I won't even remember next year (the frustrating on-hold recorded voice at a business, the unauthorized automatic withdrawal by an online company that is hard to reach, the scanner acting funky), it's good to recall the moments for which I was always waiting. They did. They do. Wow!

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Weird Government Titles #1

Trivial pursuit of weird terms...

The Patriot Act is actually an anacronym for:
Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001.

Who knew? I discovered this when browsing the "Best Seller" list of the NTIS (National Technical Information Service) website. My curiousity was piqued at the term "DEATH MASTER FILE." Wow! Is that ominous sounding or what?

"The SSA Death Master File is used by leading government, financial, investigative, credit reporting organization, medical research and other industries to verify identity as well as to prevent fraud and comply with the USA Patriot Act."

Mathematical Methods in Combating Terrorism. Otherwise known as "Einstein's revenge" "This document is a preliminary report on the role that mathematical and statistical methods might play in the defense against terrorist attacks. In no way does this replace the efforts of law enforcement agencies or intelligence activities." Good, glad to hear it!

Fred and the Voice of Food Safety. Yummy!

Not a gov't term, but what the heck... The term "gray literature" was found at this government news site. I was not familiar with this term, but found a good site explaining it (Librarians are so helpful!):
"Gray or grey literature has long been considered the proverbial needle in the haystack. It is commonly defined as any documentary material that is not commercially published and is typically composed of technical reports, working papers, business documents, and conference proceedings."

"...books no longer imprisoned for life..."

In "Book Business: Publishing Past Present and Future" Jason Epstein writes:
The best advertising for any book is word of mouth. For this the global village green offers limitless scope. . . . With books no longer imprisoned for life within fixed bindings the opportunities are endless for the creation of new, useful, and profitable products by Internet publishers.

"Among the many tyrannies to be overcome by the World Wide Web will be the turnover requirements of retail booksellers. . . .

"The obstacles imposed between readers and writers by traditional publishing practices . . . will wither away. The global village green will not be paradise. It will be undisciplined, polymorphous, and polyglot . . . The critical faculty that selects meaning from chaos is part of our instinctual equipment . . . Human beings have a genius for finding their way.

"... publishers' tasks can be reduced to an essential handful: editorial support, publicity, design, digitizing, and financing. For these functions, size confers no advantage and at a certain magnitude becomes a nuisance."

Epstein's book is must reading for anyone involved in the business of book publishing, even with some of its now out-dated statements (copyright 2001). But, if you want to appreciate where mainstream publishing has been and how an experienced mind evaluates the future of it, then spend a few hours listening to what this author has to say. Developing a strategic and polymorphic approach to writing and building an author's fan base using all up-to-date methods is crucial to success in publishing.

What I think we're seeing at this point is size (of a publishing house) conferring no advantage and even becoming a nuisance. A nuisance because most creativity undertaken by committee is fraught with complications. In fact, compared to the ease with which a blog, a website, or a print-on-demand book can be created today, it's somewhat amazing there have been so many books that survived the production process over the last few hundred years.

Let's look at the life cycle of an "Average Book" (circa 1900 - 2004, I'm not going to pretend to know anything about the 19th century). For our example, this will be a book you read once and like enough to give away but not enough to hold on to.

Step One:
Against all odds, the pressing obligations and superficial interests of life . . . the demands of lovers and guilt-trips of spouses and parents . . . the business of earning a living and sitting one's arse in a chair for a prolonged period of time ("shutting the door" as Stephen King advises) . . . against the intimidation of the classics, the skepticism of the less hard-working, the threat of addiction and a million other things that distract people from their goals (or give them excuses, depending on your level of sympathy with this process) A MANUSCRIPT IS WRITTEN!

Step Two:
Now, after three revisions and four go get 'ums by friends and family, research begins for an appropriate agent or publisher. Packages go out, packages come back. Go out. Come back. Go out. Come back. Go out. Come back. A few holidays pass and work begins in earnest on Book Two.

Step Three:
Saints be praised, Book One has been accepted for publication.

Step Four:
We'll skip the editorial meetings, sales meetings, proofs going back and forth and go right to the fun part -- printing. The book is printed and arrives on Author's doorstep. Champagne is opened. Mother is proud. Children (if there was time to bear them) are impressed. Life is good. Is it time to give notice at the place of employment yet?

Step Five:
The publisher receives faxed, phoned, or electronic orders for the book. Tons of orders come in. Tons of books are printed. The book costs $20. retail. The publisher sells the book for $10. It costs $3. to produce, plus $1 for marketing, plus $1 to finance all the books that the publisher currently publishes that don't sell at all and are financed by the more successful books (or that sell really well at such a discount they don't make any money, so their "success" is financed by less-popular but better margined titles). So, let's say there is $5 left over to make the publisher money. And, the author hopes to get a bit of that.

Step Six:
The books ship out in smart-looking trucks to their retail destinations. Mother looks for it on the shelf in Miami Beach and the Author's college roommate asks for it in San Diego. Meanwhile, new copies start showing up on Amazon for $4.

Step Seven:
The Author does a few book signings, appears on the radio, and waits for the first sales report. The bookstores leave the books on the shelf, spine out, next to the other 20,000 or so new titles published every year.

Step Eight:
The economy is going south, the bookstore has a slow month and now has an invoice for the books ordered for the holidays due to the wholesalers. It doesn't want to pay said bill, so it has bookstore staff comb the shelves (or pull up on the computer) all books that have been "sitting around" for, how could they?, three months. Our dear Author's book is in that category, so all copies at the chain get pulled from the shelf and back they go to the wholesaler, then the distributor, then the publisher.

Step Nine:
They are returned. They are resold. They are returned. They sit. The copyright date gets older. The bookstores will not order copyright dates older than two years. The publisher turns to the "next new thing." The Author's mother complains that none of her friends in Arizona can find the book in bookstores. The Author furiously finishes Book Two.

Step Ten:
Time passes. Book One may break even, or be a loss. It might even, yes it's true I've seen it happen, be a bestseller but make no profit for Author, Publisher or store owner.

This, dear reader, is why the face of publishing is eager to change, Insisting on change and ready for all the new opportunities technology can bring its way.

Stephen King, in "On Writing" states "If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot." He's right, of course, who am I to argue with Stephen King? But to be a successful publisher . . . well, that's a bit trickier!

Thank you Tim Berners-Lee

Tim Berners-Lee received the first Millennium Technology Prize reported AP's Mans Hulden, for "creating the World Wide Web." The recipient remains modest about his work, the article states, while the prize committee took special note of his decision to never commercialize or patent his contributions. Wow! Thank you Tim Berners-Lee!

A good article on Berners-Lee. Here are some highlights:

"He envisioned a global information space where information stored on computers everywhere was linked and available to anyone anywhere. There were two technologies already developed that would allow his vision to become reality."

"Initially, his proposal received no reply, but he began working on his idea anyway..."

"bureaucracy . . . was slow in acknowledging his efforts."

Secondhand piercing danger!

Kelly Carnahan of Delaware, Ohio, had her letter printed in today's Columbus (OH) Dispatch. "Government wants to think for smokers" is the headline, and Ms. Carnahan states she resents the government making smoke-free public places because after all we are "thinking human beings who are just plain old fed up with being told we are third-class citizens and not worthy of socializing in a public place just because we choose to smoke." She suggests "we also ban people with tattoos and piercings or just about any other differences that people have, because to me it's pretty much the same thing."

Dear Kelly: You are not demonstrating yourself as a "thinking human being" and tattoos and piercings are NOT the "same thing" . . . not even "pretty much" the same thing.

No one, to my knowledge has become ill or died due to their family member, co-worker, or customers (as in the case of waitstaff in restaurants) having tattoos or piercings. My eldest son has two tattoos and I am not, I repeat NOT, in any danger of the long list of illnesses associated with air heavy-laden with whatever it is contained in cigarette smoke. What an idiotic comparison. Would you take your six-month-old baby, Kelly Carnahan, and place her next to a chain-smoking nanny eight hours a day? Perhaps you already have. I'd put my baby next to the "tattooed lady" over the "smokestake lady" any day.

If adults want to smoke on their property and in private clubs, then go at it. Don't expect me to pay for your doctor bills ten years down the road. Don't expect me to be willing to have my offspring wait on you in a restaurant and don't expect me to sit next to you on an airplane.

My son-with-the-tattoos is disabled and lives in a nursing home. Beginning at 7 am and until 9 pm, every day, seven days a week, the residents, the majority of the residents, smoke. The nurse's aides hold the cigarettes to their lips, if they are unable to do so themselves. I heard the nursing home spends $3000 a month purchasing cigarettes.

The window in the common room where the smoking occurs only opens eight inches and the air filter that sits on the TV looks like the small one in my house that filters air to help my parrot stay healthy. In other words, it's not enough to clean the air of 10 to 20 men smoking 14 times a day. That's 140 to 280 cigarettes being smoked every day in the presence of my 23-year-old MRDD, hearing-impaired child whom I have spent decades telling "don't take up smoking, don't take drugs, eat your vegetables." I asked the state ombudsman to check it out and the nursing home, according to the investigator, is conforming to current law. The law stinks, literally.

Kelly Carnahan of Deleware, Ohio, may you live long enough to regret the "thinking" opinion you hold today.

UPDATE to this article: Today, June 29, 2004, Columbus, OH, passed into law a smoking ban at bars, restuarants and bowling alleys in Columbus. Might common areas of nursing homes be next?

Confederate Math: Part Two

The United Daughters of the Confederacy have recognized Maudie Celia Hopkins as a surviving Civil War soldier's widow . . . Her husband was 86 when he married the then-19-year-old in 1934. The UDC say "there might be others like her still alive." I just don't get it...

Monday, June 14, 2004

Wi-Fi, Hi-Fi, Bu-bye

Hang on . . . this may not make sense. In fact, if it does make sense you are way ahead of me!

Last night, I finally got around to reading Newsweek's June 7th issue on "Way Cool Phones." As a person who believes I should know the meaning of every word I read, or take time to find it out, I was immediately put off by "Wi-Fi." What has happened to me?

Last week, I was talking with my friend, David, about his album collection. His "albums" are CDs. My albums are, well albums. When I was a kid, we listened to our albums on "Hi-Fi's." When did Wi-Fi's come about? The article never did identify the term, but I was heartened to see in the Letters to the Editor section of the following week's Newsweek that arrived today, that many readers wrote in to ask "What's a Wi-Fi?" Whew! "Wireless-Fidelity" was the answer . . . okay . . .

Continuing on with this great article on all the things my cell phone will one day be able to do for me (or could now if I bought a new one) (TV shows, GPS, Internet, games, e-mail, video, etc. etc)... I quickly encountered more and more words (even phrases) with which I, an Editor!, was completely unfamiliar and could not decipher:

"...then some geeks came up with a new communications standard exploiting an unlicensed part of the spectrum (which the wonks at the FCC called "junk band," stuff designated for techno-flotsam like microwave ovens and cordless phones). It was called 802.11 and only later sexed up with the Wi-Fi moniker."


Here are some new terms:
"bandwidth liberator" "WiMax" "cyberaction"

How about this:
"Consider the MIT Media Lab project to install Wi-Fi base stations on intervillage buses in India: when the vehicles stop to pick up passengers, computer users within range can use the signal to download files or send e-mail."

I can hear it now... "Teacher, my term paper isn't done because the bus was not on schedule."

More terms in Newsweek:
"Bluetooth" "RFID" "Zig-Bee (a way to network appliances)" The author of this article defines photography (the traditional kind like I have in a shoebox) as "flat illustrative artifact[s]."

In the same issue, there is an article entitled "Making the Ultimate Map." Steven Levy states:
"...just over the azimuth [now there's a good word!] is the holy grail of mapping, where every imaginable form of location-based information is layered onto an aggregate construct that mirrors the whole world." [Yowzah!] "Eventually, between the databases, the parsing and the geo-hackers, millions of places will be digitally annotated, and the experience of traveling the world will be akin to visiting a museum with an exquisitely informed guide."

Yes, but will it be any easier to bring my dog along?

Just when I thought all was lost, as far as my keeping up, I received the June 21st issue of TIME Magazine. In "10 Questions for David Sedaris" (author of "Me Talk Pretty One Day") Sedaris is asked about his familiarity with the Internet:
"I've never seen the Internet. I don't have e-mail. I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. When people say, 'You should visit my Web page,' I'm always perplexed by it. Why? What do you do there?"

I feel about a hundred and three years old. My 21-year-old knows more than I do. I think I'm "cyber-savy" because I can view my bank account online and create a business website. . . . All this high-faluting techno-babble drives me to the simple pleasures of a chocolate chip cookie, a glass of milk and the Columbus Dispatch newspaper. It costs fifty cents, doesn't require typing to navigate, and I can use it to line the bird cage. I'm sure one day it may be obsolete, but until then I'll shake the tech confusion from my brain every morning, grab a cup of coffee and stare at the front porch, looking for information delivered the old-fashioned way: by a kid on a bike.

Confederate Math

Now, I understand the Internet brings together people from a wide variety of locations, religions, backgrounds, political leanings and world views. And having lived in Florida for 17 years is probably not enough to put me on the good side of proud Southerners . . . so perhaps only Yankees will understand my befuddlement over the death of Alberta Martin making national news, in a week filled with the death of a president, a continuing war, Venus & the Sun, high school graduations, the 60th Anniversary of D-Day, the G8 summit, and the much anticipated premieres of summer movies.

As I was stumbling to do the math in my head (when did the Civil War end? what's the youngest a soldier could have been?), wondering how Alberta could even have still been alive... the anchor explained how Mrs. Martin was a mere 21 at her marriage in 1927, to the former Confederate soldier who was . . . ahem! . . . 81. Now I learn from Margaret Dickson that 10 months after the lucky Confederate and love-is-blind bride married, their child was born. Not one to take the conventional path, Alberta eventually married her husband's grandson and they, in time, celebrated a golden wedding anniversary. Wow, and all this before Viagra, Hugh Hefner, and The Sun tabloid.

Since we're celebrating the 60th Anniversary of D-Day, I wonder if the news will report something about a 21-year-old MAN marrying an 81-year-old World War II WASP, celebrating the nuptials, perhaps, on the grounds of the new memorial, before taking off in a small plane for a South Florida honeymoon. Now that would be newsworthy!

Saturday, June 12, 2004

The Desire to Publish

Since 1997, I have been involved with folks whose purpose in contacting me is to turn their manuscripts into books. They want to be not only writers, but Authors. Published authors and, dare they dream, self-supporting published authors.

Most of them want book tours, autographing parties, their book on a shelf at Barnes & Noble (preferrably an endcap with no competitors), their book in the "Literary Guild" catalog (or maybe Quality Paperback Book Club's...). They want to get e-mails from people whose lives were changed by reading what they wrote. I confess to a bit of that desire myself...

The desire to be published is a societal step-up from the desire to be heard. Writers just want to be heard by as many people as possible and for as many generations as possible. In some folks it is attached to the desire for wealth and fame, but not for as many as one might think.

It is great to read a manuscript that needs little editing ... that takes on a life of its own and demands to be a book, earning that right simply by the arrangement of letters on a page. An arrangement that creates an alternate world with characters, scenery, and action. Magic!

Other manuscripts, like a sturdy house, need construction work. Sometimes things get messier before they get better. In all cases trust and patience are key. Hope helps too...

I once read an article by Erma Bombeck years ago on the natural optimism of dogs. Writers have that as well, I've found. They are optimistic about the chances of their work being published, being sold, being considered worthwhile. It is difficult when the truth is otherwise and one could never delight in being right in such a situation.

Technology has changed the way books are produced, the economics and business set-up of publishing and a host of other things. Technology can never change the magic of words well written.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Hopelessly Devoted: The Reagans

Amid the many pages of eulogy, analysis, commentary, and photographs . . . between the computer-generated graphic cutaway of the Capitol and the black-and-white photo of a young Reagan with his football buddies . . . beyond the words of Tim Russert, Larry King, Katie Couric, Peter Jennings, et. al . . . there is one photograph of Ronald and Nancy Reagan that I absolutely love. You may have seen it. Taken at the "Western White House" it shows the couple standing face to face, embracing and (of course) gazing and smiling into each other's eyes. Cowboy hats, jeans, a gingham shirt for her, and denim one for him, they are at the pond on their property, a canoe christened "TRULUV" nearby. What a great picture. Obviously, posed for the camera, but I am just sentimental enough to like it anyway.

I'm not a Reagan afficionado; I'm not even a Republican. When Reagan was president, I was a stay-at-home mom with two active pre-school children and a host of pressing worries. My memories of world news at that time are few: the assassination attempt on Reagan, the Challenger disintegrating before my eyes on the television screen as I ironed (every word in that phrase is important!), and "Ollie" North's testimony before Congress, well, just his swearing in part and a few highlights. So, I'll leave the analysis to the more knowledegable and the sophisticated.

But, as the song goes "I know something about love!" and every picture of this first couple is embedded with devotion, with links going back to a thousand public and private moments the public could never truly understand. Unless, perhaps, they were fortunate to share a similar coupling. (It's hard not to contrast that with the famous shot of President Clinton, Hillary, and Chelsea walking across the lawn after his on-air confession, or the often-noted habit of President Nixon to treat his wife as if she did not exist.)

Seeing photos of the Reagans reminds me of the myth of popular sentiments, phrases I have heard and (forgive me) even used a few times in my 30 years of adult life. Here they are, not in any particular order:

* It's not true that "men cannot communicate." Reagan's letters to his wife clearly demonstrated that he knew how to share his deepest feelings. Any person would be blessed to have such a partner.

* It's not true that "second marriages don't work out." Theirs did.

* It's not true that "nice guys finish last." By all accounts it seems that Reagan was a kind person, with an ability to hold a strong opinion but allow that others might understandably differ. He was able to be decisive yet agreeable, a helpful quality in life and a good time to use the adjective "disarming." His manner and charisma were dis-arming. Worth thinking about at this time in history . . .

*It's not true that "love doesn't last." Love does last. It lasts between parents, friends, partners, and children and their parents. It lasts beyond death, beyond war, beyond politics, beyond poverty, and sometimes, beyond wealth, power and success.

"TRULUV" is not Brittany Spears, J. Lo, or applicable to any other celebrity in PEOPLE magazine under the age of 35, as far as I'm concerned. Judgmental? Yes. I happen to believe it is okay to make judgments. People use the word judgmental when they don't agree with your opinions. I've fought being wishy-washy my whole life and now embrace being older, wearing purple and being willing to create discomfort.

TRULUV is Ronald and Nancy Reagan, Christopher and Dana Reeves, and Greg and Lauren Manning. It's the couple together for fifty-plus years, or 20 for that matter. It's commitment, romance, sparks, and shared secrets. Sex and family and work and illness. War and peace and presents and beauty. Death cannot take it away. When they see it, others want it, too. It's something worth having.

I guess the surprising thing is the amount of attention being given to the Reagans love affair. As if it were so rare. Not so! All across the world, in towns and cities and farmland and desert and rainforest and island ... there are people who love each other, who gaze into each other's eyes, who mourn the loss of each other. But we don't hear about them much.

Today, while others commemorate President Reagan's life, I'm going to remember my parents, married for 49 years when Dad died; my mother and Joe (in their eighties and in love for almost a decade now) and the other kinds of love as well that weaves its gentle and comforting way through my life.

Take heart. There is love "out there." It's worth hoping for and worth having. Nancy and Ronald Reagan remind us of that.